I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I love the Pixar Animation movies Inside Out and the sequel, Inside Out 2. These films are not just for children but also offer numerous teachable moments for adults, whether you’re a teacher, parent, or leader.
(Inside Out: Pixar Animation Studios)
The voices inside our heads and the emotions we experience profoundly influence our decision-making and how we perceive the world and interact with others. Therefore, self-awareness and self-reflection are crucial activities for leaders, teachers and parents. Not just for personal well-being but also to authentically connect with our children, young people, and colleagues.
Understanding the ‘chatter’ in our heads, our ‘itty bitty bitchy committee’ and being able to shift our mindset is valuable. (For further reading see – Shirzad Chamine’s Positive Intelligence). We have a bias towards negativity, which can escalate into catastrophising or cognitive distortions. However, trying to control emotions isn’t the solution; Regulation can be.
Self-regulation: “The ability to understand and manage your behaviour and your reactions to feelings and things happening around you.”
Recognising when we are dysregulated requires self-awareness, and managing it requires reflection:
What triggered me? (the need to be understood, heard, in control, right! etc.)
How does this align (or not) with my values and beliefs, both the event and my reaction?
What emotions am I feeling, and what are they trying to communicate?
What am I feeling in my body?
You don’t always have to try and regulate on your own. Co-regulation, meaning with others (check out Lori Desautels work for strategies for yourself and the classroom) and eco-regulation (in nature) are also effective strategies. Emotions are specific, reactive, and the “energy that puts you in motion” e-motion (Newby & Watkins, 2019). Understanding emotions gives us the power to choose our responses. Holding onto emotions like anger or fear, those which elevate cortisol levels can harm your health (Piazza et al., 2013), and if we don’t complete the stress cycle, our bodies will eventually let us know!
Navigating emotions and regulating ourselves is challenging and requires deep self-awareness, such as understanding our assumptions, biases, and limiting beliefs, as well as our strengths and shortcomings. These factors show up in our language, relationships, the types of emotions and feelings we have access to. Now I’m aware of these, what choices do I want to make?
While this journey can be daunting alone, seeking feedback from trusted friends or colleagues through one to one conversations and tools like 360-degree feedback can be invaluable. Recognising our blind spots opens up new choices:
Do we continue as we are, or do we seek to change?
Leading from within, though time-consuming, offers profound rewards.
When you’re ready to explore this path, a coach can serve as an impartial partner, helping you uncover blind spots and navigate this transformative process.
References
Chamine, S. (2012). Positive intelligence: Why only 20% of teams and individuals achieve their true potential and how you can achieve yours. Austin, TX: Greenleaf Book Group Press. ISBN 9781608322787
Desautels. L. (2023). Intentional neuroplasticity: Moving our nervous systems and educational system toward post traumatic growth. Wyatt-MacKenzie Publishing. ISBN 1954332335
Nagoski, E., & Nagoski, A. (2020). Burnout: The secret to unlocking the stress cycle. NY: Ballantine Books. ISBN 1984818325
Newby, D., & Watkins, C. (2019). The field guide to emotions: A practical orientation to 150 essential emotions. Daniel Newby. ISBN 1732450927
Piazza, J., Charles, S., Sliwinski, M., Mogle, J., Almeida, D. (2013). Affective reactivity to daily stressors and long-term risk of reporting a chronic physical health condition. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 45 (1), 110–120, https://doi.org/10.1007/s12160-012-9423-0
Van Der Kolk, B. (2014). (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking. ISBN 0141978619
